Red Burtts Place

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Location: Maine, United States

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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Liberal Kook

Hunter Thompson:
Who the hell is he, I never heard of him, he must have been a Liberal Kook Democrat. How would I know that, what would make me think that, I'll tell you what....He said "I hate Bush", that's what he said. Another thing that makes me think he was a "Lefty Neo Dem" is the fact that when he shot himself this week the NY Times (Neo Dem Bible) wrote an article depicting this guy as none other than Jesus H Christ. The NY Times and the Boston Globe want to Canonize this guy, they want him immediately raised to "Sainthood". If these two Left Wing Rags think this guy was a hero then he was a "Liberal Democrat".

This guys wife and all his close friends are "Lefty Kooky Liberal Democrats", how would I know that, I'll tell you how I know that. This "drugged up nut" called his wife up, then while on the phone he put a 45 caliber pistol in his mouth and blew his brains out, his wife notified some close friends, they all rushed to "fruit cakes" house and found him sitting in a kitchen chair with a big hole in the back of his "Coke Head".

Do they call the police, do they sob and cry, do they faint, no, they open some wine, then they start singing and drinking (Lefty Democrats By God) these screwballs are having a party while "Heroin Harry's Cadaver" is sitting in a kitchen chair with his mouth open, with his eyes open and a hole the size of a basketball in the back of his head. The NY Times, Al Franken, Barbara Boxer, Uncle Teddy, and Jimmy "Sissy" Carter all say "he would have wanted it that way"....Whoever this nut was the "Liberal Democrats" loved him. I never heard of him.

Well there is more to this "Nut Case", this guy wants to be cremated, then he wants his ashes shot out of a Cannon (lol).

By now you must admit that this guy was "For Kerry All The Way".

"Yes dear"
"What was that big bang"
"That was Mr Thompsons funeral dear, they just shot him out of a Cannon"
"Was he a democrat Mom"
"Yes dear"
Author: Red Burtt

Friday, February 25, 2005

Diarrhea Face II (He's Back)

Scott Peterson,
"Feces Face" Scott is back in the news, all the "Female Smut Lawyers" and "Female Smut Reporters" are starting to rub themselves and breath heavily.

Greta Van Sustren and Rita Cosby of Fox News both become sexually Aroused at the mere mention of his name. Matt Lauer of the "Today Show" becomes sexually aroused at the mention of Amber Fryes name (Feces Faces Slut).

When Cute Perky Katie Curic heard that Scotty was back she jumped up out of her chair, pulled her Mini Skirt up and gave Al Roker a "French Kiss", Al dropped his "Map Pointer" and ran out of the studio, a cameraman passed out.

Helen Thomas the White House reporter (the one that looks like a rodent) was seen in front of the courthouse carrying a sign that read "I love you Scott, take me fishing".

Imagine putting Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson in the same cell--lol,lol.
Author: Red Burtt

Monday, February 07, 2005

Toilet Paper And Snow

What is the first thing a housewife does when the weatherman says, "Snow"

She grabs her pocket book and her checkbook and literally "RACES" to the supermarket.

Some have been seen flying through Stop Signs, driving up on curbs, giving other drivers the finger, and many (mostly democrats, they learn this from democrat movies on HBO), many have been known to roll down their window and scream four letter obscenities to other drivers, they will sometimes be so excited that they will roll down their window and scream four letter obscenities to fire hydrants and large trees.

Today while sitting around and doing nothing, this thought of Snow, Housewives and Toilet Paper came to mind.

I have a friend who lives in Billerica Mass, she is a devout, hard core Democrat, she calls the Republican President Of The United States Of America a "Dick Head", she also says things about Our President that I am fearful of printing on this Blog.
This women actually voted for John"Fonda"Kerry.

Now, back to Snow & Toilet paper, this Bush Hating Friend sent me an e-mail telling me of her trip to the Supermarket (Snow Storm Induced), she didn't mention Toilet Paper, I will inquire about this at a later date, but she did tell me that she couldn't get a shopping cart, she also said that the supermarket provided "Pizza & Soda" (how nice) at this wonderful shopping spree brought about by the TV weatherman who is "Paid Off" by the supermarket chains, but, this time it seemed "legit" the Boston area got over two feet of snow, the local Jerk Weatherman lucked out.

I am a firm believer that TV Weather Persons are "paid off" by local Business & Resort Area Community Leaders. "SNOW" means, run to the Supermarket, "SUNNY" means go camping and go to the beach. They both mean "SPEND MONEY".

I imagine my friend purchased about $500 worth of stuff.
When the weatherman says that word "Snow", it starts a stampede; housewives believe they will be trapped in their homes for six months or at least until Memorial Day.

A good snow storm will usually last for up to two days, then another two days to clean it up, that is four days.

The housewife bought enough "stuff" for Eight Months.

You must be wondering by now what Toilet Paper has to do with this, well the next time you "Snow Shop" look in other people carts, they all have at least three Huge Packages of toilet paper.

Do Human Beings Have More Bowel Movements During A Snow Storm Than They Do In The Summer-?
Author: Red Burtt