Toilet Paper And Snow
Question:
What is the first thing a housewife does when the weatherman says, "Snow"
Answer:
She grabs her pocket book and her checkbook and literally "RACES" to the supermarket.
Some have been seen flying through Stop Signs, driving up on curbs, giving other drivers the finger, and many (mostly democrats, they learn this from democrat movies on HBO), many have been known to roll down their window and scream four letter obscenities to other drivers, they will sometimes be so excited that they will roll down their window and scream four letter obscenities to fire hydrants and large trees.
Today while sitting around and doing nothing, this thought of Snow, Housewives and Toilet Paper came to mind.
I have a friend who lives in Billerica Mass, she is a devout, hard core Democrat, she calls the Republican President Of The United States Of America a "Dick Head", she also says things about Our President that I am fearful of printing on this Blog.
This women actually voted for John"Fonda"Kerry.
Now, back to Snow & Toilet paper, this Bush Hating Friend sent me an e-mail telling me of her trip to the Supermarket (Snow Storm Induced), she didn't mention Toilet Paper, I will inquire about this at a later date, but she did tell me that she couldn't get a shopping cart, she also said that the supermarket provided "Pizza & Soda" (how nice) at this wonderful shopping spree brought about by the TV weatherman who is "Paid Off" by the supermarket chains, but, this time it seemed "legit" the Boston area got over two feet of snow, the local Jerk Weatherman lucked out.
I am a firm believer that TV Weather Persons are "paid off" by local Business & Resort Area Community Leaders. "SNOW" means, run to the Supermarket, "SUNNY" means go camping and go to the beach. They both mean "SPEND MONEY".
I imagine my friend purchased about $500 worth of stuff.
When the weatherman says that word "Snow", it starts a stampede; housewives believe they will be trapped in their homes for six months or at least until Memorial Day.
A good snow storm will usually last for up to two days, then another two days to clean it up, that is four days.
The housewife bought enough "stuff" for Eight Months.
You must be wondering by now what Toilet Paper has to do with this, well the next time you "Snow Shop" look in other people carts, they all have at least three Huge Packages of toilet paper.
Do Human Beings Have More Bowel Movements During A Snow Storm Than They Do In The Summer-?
Author: Red Burtt
What is the first thing a housewife does when the weatherman says, "Snow"
Answer:
She grabs her pocket book and her checkbook and literally "RACES" to the supermarket.
Some have been seen flying through Stop Signs, driving up on curbs, giving other drivers the finger, and many (mostly democrats, they learn this from democrat movies on HBO), many have been known to roll down their window and scream four letter obscenities to other drivers, they will sometimes be so excited that they will roll down their window and scream four letter obscenities to fire hydrants and large trees.
Today while sitting around and doing nothing, this thought of Snow, Housewives and Toilet Paper came to mind.
I have a friend who lives in Billerica Mass, she is a devout, hard core Democrat, she calls the Republican President Of The United States Of America a "Dick Head", she also says things about Our President that I am fearful of printing on this Blog.
This women actually voted for John"Fonda"Kerry.
Now, back to Snow & Toilet paper, this Bush Hating Friend sent me an e-mail telling me of her trip to the Supermarket (Snow Storm Induced), she didn't mention Toilet Paper, I will inquire about this at a later date, but she did tell me that she couldn't get a shopping cart, she also said that the supermarket provided "Pizza & Soda" (how nice) at this wonderful shopping spree brought about by the TV weatherman who is "Paid Off" by the supermarket chains, but, this time it seemed "legit" the Boston area got over two feet of snow, the local Jerk Weatherman lucked out.
I am a firm believer that TV Weather Persons are "paid off" by local Business & Resort Area Community Leaders. "SNOW" means, run to the Supermarket, "SUNNY" means go camping and go to the beach. They both mean "SPEND MONEY".
I imagine my friend purchased about $500 worth of stuff.
When the weatherman says that word "Snow", it starts a stampede; housewives believe they will be trapped in their homes for six months or at least until Memorial Day.
A good snow storm will usually last for up to two days, then another two days to clean it up, that is four days.
The housewife bought enough "stuff" for Eight Months.
You must be wondering by now what Toilet Paper has to do with this, well the next time you "Snow Shop" look in other people carts, they all have at least three Huge Packages of toilet paper.
Do Human Beings Have More Bowel Movements During A Snow Storm Than They Do In The Summer-?
Author: Red Burtt
posted by Red Burtt | 11:09 AM
1 Comments:
Greetings from another Billerican in yet another snow storm. I'm guessing your friend didn't see this yet because I'm sure I would have seen a post. Just wanted to let you know this "independent" has enough toilet paper to get through the storm ...although I did venture out in the blizzard to do a little shopping. I guess there's something about snow in New England that makes you want to go out and play in it. While all the other snow storm paranoid freaks were out shopping for toilet paper I got a new outfit. No lines, no waiting and a little 4 wheeling on the side...LOL
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