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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I Am Suing A TV Program

In a previous Blog I wrote about a TV program called “The View”, it is a “silly women’s show”, my problem with this show is, my wife watches it, now you ask, “so what”, well I will now try to begin and explain the mental anguish this television show is causing to me and the reason that I think it is driving my wife insane.

I am not a “Chauvinist”, I like women, in fact years ago I was considered “a sissy” because I used to like to sleep with them, this lawsuit I plan on filing isn’t about “anti feminism” it is about the fact that this show is driving my wife insane, she is becoming a lunatic, her snoring is progressively worse, she mutters to herself, she tells me to answer the phone when it isn’t even ringing, she calls me names all day long and turns the cold water on when I am in the shower, I know it is those five screeching giggling fools on The View that are causing my wife to slowly lose her sanity and is also slowly driving me insane.

I have several Lawyers and I am going to set up a “Mental Anguish Lawsuit” against “The View”, I will now try to explain what this rotten swine slime infested bastard show is doing to me, it isn’t only my wife that this show affects, now I am becoming mentally disturbed because I am in the house and I am subjected to this slopping shit.

Yesterday when I was going to the bathroom I started laughing and couldn’t stop, I wake up at 3:00 AM and start singing, my left eye lid constantly twitches the hairs in my nose are now growing faster then usual and I see things on my wall.

The Show:
For those of you that haven’t watched or heard of this ungodly wailing spectacle I will now try to describe what I see and hear.

The show consists of five bitches screaming at each other, one is a “black bitch” one is a “light brown bitch” and the other three are “white bitches”, these banshees start the show by marching single file onto the stage with big grins on their sappy faces, the “Bush Hating” dumbed down American audience stands then claps, whistles and screams, the bitches grin and slobber.

Now it starts, they take their seats and immediately start “yelling, wailing, spitting, snorting, gagging wheezing and are probably urinating in their bloomers.
The most aggravating thing about all of these cackling bastards isn’t the yelling and snorting, what drives me crazy is, these morons all try to talk at once and I think this is also why my wife is turning into a “nut” she has no idea what they are talking about but by God she listens to them, if I should say something while these fools are screeching and yowling she tells me to shut my mouth then she yells to me that she is listening to TV, my wife now yells just like they do, sure, she’s listening but she has no idea what those five shit heads are saying, these people are a threat to “sane people” all across this country.

Barbara Walters is one of them, when she screams and try’s to “out shout” the “black bitch” she drools all over her shirt and her eyes “bug out”, one of the “white bitches” can’t stop grinning, no matter what they talk about she grins, if they should be talking about disemboweling a live Presbyterian this “white bitch” would be grinning.

They are all “sore losing Bush haters” and when the show turns political they all go into hysterics, they all yell at once, they squirm and jump up down in their seats and Barbara Walters false teeth have almost fallen out several times on live TV especially when she talks about a member of the Bush family.

This program is destroying my life, whenever I try to speak in my home my wife starts yelling, she is copying “the bitches” she won’t let me talk, she will never let me finish a sentence.

My Attorney says I may have a good case, he had never heard or watched the program so after I filed my lawsuit he wanted to watch the show for himself, he told me that after thirty minutes of Viewing The View he had to go out in his yard and sit in his car, he said he then started crying.

These yelling howling alley cats are violating my civil liberties and they are causing my wife to constantly call me an idiot and a stupid bastard.

I suggest any of you reading this to tune into this “horror show” some morning, try not to become involved in it, it will drive you insane.

My wife also now laughs when she goes to the bathroom and just last night she started singing at three o’clock in the morning, every light in the house was out. Do you have any idea what that can do to a man.
I want “Ten Million Dollars”
Author: Red Burtt

1 Comments:

Blogger badgerdaddy said...

Red - thanks for stopping by my wee blog, come by any time. And best of luck with the law suit...

3:13 PM  

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