+ A KNOCK ON GODS DOOR +
A SMALL MEMORIUM FOR AN OLD FRIEND:
God was very tired, he sat down on the edge of his bed and removed his golden sandals, he sighed, then he said to himself, “I need some help”, “this is getting to much for me”, he then thought, “Jesus is never around, God only knows what he’s doing” then God said to himself, “no I don’t”.
God clapped his hands and the lights went out, “oh well, I’ll have to find some help somewhere”. Then, God closed his eyes.
God usually doesn’t get much sleep in fact tonight was the first time God had gone to bed in Forty Two Million Years but he was very tired and his feet hurt.
Just as God was drifting off into a "Holy Slumber" the “Heavenly Door Bell Chimes” sounded, God said “oh Jesus”, he slipped into his “Holy Sandals” and shuffled downstairs to the “Holy Door”, he then loudly asked, “who is it”, a voice came back, “I’m a new guy, I just got here” God then said, “OK”. God raised his right leg and the massive golden door slowly opened.
"Then it happened".
Suddenly unseen trumpets sounded, white doves were released, a choir was singing “Nearer My God To Thee” even God himself was amazed, God was getting “goose bumps”, the Choir was getting louder, Angels were gathering, there were thousands of them they were flying all around “Gods House”, heavenly strobe lights were flashing, a puff of smoke and Jesus suddenly appeared, he said to God, “What’s going on Dad” God replied, “I don’t know son” he then said, “I can’t ever remember this happening before, this is a miracle”. Jesus had to think that one over, “a miracle”?
Heaven was in an uproar, a crowd gathered on Gods front lawn, famous faces, Dean Martin, Mother Teresa, Napoleon, Elvis, Pope John Paul, Bat Masterson, Harry Truman, Clark Gable, Man O’ War (the race horse) JFK, Rodney Dangerfield, Babe Ruth, Hank Williams, Jack Benny, George Washington, Martin Luther King, Lassie, Milton Berle, Charles Lindberg, Davy Crocket, Johnny Carson and Rose Kennedy to name a few.
God thought, “Oh my God” “who can this new guy be”, why even Noah with his Green Alligators and Long Necked Geese are here. Jesus threw his robe over his shoulder and said, “Wow Dad, Cool”
God was taken aback he said to himself, “I am God”, In the beginning I created everything”, “I created the heaven and the earth”, “I created everything that creeps, I created everything that crawls” “I saw light” and I said “this is good” “I then called it, Day” “I saw darkness” and I said, “this is good” “I then called it Night” but never before have I created such a welcome for a “new arrival”, “who can this be” God was very puzzled?
Out of nowhere a heavenly spotlight suddenly appeared directly over the “new guy”, God looked, and he said "this is good" he saw a gentleman, God said “how do you do, welcome to Gods House” the new guy said, “Hi God”, God smiled, the Angels sang, the trumpets blared, the White Doves swooped low.
God then said, “Come in new guy”.
The "new guy" stepped over the threshold of Gods House and entered the Kingdom Of Heaven, there he shall dwell for all of eternity.
The new guy hitched his pants up and looked God right in the eye and said, “God, I know everything, I’m going to show you how this place should really be run” “the first thing you need is a Union, Jimmy Hoffa is up here somewhere, I want you to get him over here first thing in the morning” he then went on, “then you have to get rid of all these damn Doves, I don’t want to listen to them flapping their wings and cooing when I’m trying to sleep” and another thing, “I want all the Republicans rounded up and sent down to Hell”
"Gee" God thought to himself "I can't send all the Republicans down to hell, I'm a Republican and so is Jesus".
God was flabbergasted, his left eye was twitching, this new guy was actually telling GOD how Heaven Should Be Run. God had to sit down; he then raised his arms and said to the new guy, “So Ye Wish, So Ye Shall Have”.
God put his Holy arm around the "New Guys" shoulders and said "come now, it is time to rest, you have had a long journey". The trumpets faded, the doves were gone, the Angels smiled. Heaven was silent.
Early the next morning God and the New Guy were having coffee in the Holy Garden, the new guy noticed a 1932 Ford Roadster parked under a Fig Tree, he said to God, “does that run” God replied “no, I haven’t been able to start it since 1948” the new guy walked over to the car and opened the hood, he then laid his hand on the engine, the car started. “Jesus Christ” God said, how did you do that, the new guy didn’t answer, he came back, sat down and sipped his coffee.
God had been praying for someone to help him run heaven, God then smiled to himself, his prayers had been answered.
God then realized that the new guy had not been officially announced into the Kingdom Of Heaven, God didn’t even know the new guys name.
God rose from his seat and asked, “New guy, what are you called on earth, what is your name” the new guy also stood and he faced God and said “I AM JOHN F (JACK) KELLEY” "I am a Teamster" he then added, “You can call me Kell if you want to God”, God replied, “So be it, Kell”
God thought to himself, “This guy is smarter than Jesus, no wonder they sounded the trumpets when he arrived”.
Every car in heaven now runs like a top, by God.
My old friend Kelley has gone home.
If you ever knew him, you will never forget him.
There will never be another Kelley.
Red Burtt.
God was very tired, he sat down on the edge of his bed and removed his golden sandals, he sighed, then he said to himself, “I need some help”, “this is getting to much for me”, he then thought, “Jesus is never around, God only knows what he’s doing” then God said to himself, “no I don’t”.
God clapped his hands and the lights went out, “oh well, I’ll have to find some help somewhere”. Then, God closed his eyes.
God usually doesn’t get much sleep in fact tonight was the first time God had gone to bed in Forty Two Million Years but he was very tired and his feet hurt.
Just as God was drifting off into a "Holy Slumber" the “Heavenly Door Bell Chimes” sounded, God said “oh Jesus”, he slipped into his “Holy Sandals” and shuffled downstairs to the “Holy Door”, he then loudly asked, “who is it”, a voice came back, “I’m a new guy, I just got here” God then said, “OK”. God raised his right leg and the massive golden door slowly opened.
"Then it happened".
Suddenly unseen trumpets sounded, white doves were released, a choir was singing “Nearer My God To Thee” even God himself was amazed, God was getting “goose bumps”, the Choir was getting louder, Angels were gathering, there were thousands of them they were flying all around “Gods House”, heavenly strobe lights were flashing, a puff of smoke and Jesus suddenly appeared, he said to God, “What’s going on Dad” God replied, “I don’t know son” he then said, “I can’t ever remember this happening before, this is a miracle”. Jesus had to think that one over, “a miracle”?
Heaven was in an uproar, a crowd gathered on Gods front lawn, famous faces, Dean Martin, Mother Teresa, Napoleon, Elvis, Pope John Paul, Bat Masterson, Harry Truman, Clark Gable, Man O’ War (the race horse) JFK, Rodney Dangerfield, Babe Ruth, Hank Williams, Jack Benny, George Washington, Martin Luther King, Lassie, Milton Berle, Charles Lindberg, Davy Crocket, Johnny Carson and Rose Kennedy to name a few.
God thought, “Oh my God” “who can this new guy be”, why even Noah with his Green Alligators and Long Necked Geese are here. Jesus threw his robe over his shoulder and said, “Wow Dad, Cool”
God was taken aback he said to himself, “I am God”, In the beginning I created everything”, “I created the heaven and the earth”, “I created everything that creeps, I created everything that crawls” “I saw light” and I said “this is good” “I then called it, Day” “I saw darkness” and I said, “this is good” “I then called it Night” but never before have I created such a welcome for a “new arrival”, “who can this be” God was very puzzled?
Out of nowhere a heavenly spotlight suddenly appeared directly over the “new guy”, God looked, and he said "this is good" he saw a gentleman, God said “how do you do, welcome to Gods House” the new guy said, “Hi God”, God smiled, the Angels sang, the trumpets blared, the White Doves swooped low.
God then said, “Come in new guy”.
The "new guy" stepped over the threshold of Gods House and entered the Kingdom Of Heaven, there he shall dwell for all of eternity.
The new guy hitched his pants up and looked God right in the eye and said, “God, I know everything, I’m going to show you how this place should really be run” “the first thing you need is a Union, Jimmy Hoffa is up here somewhere, I want you to get him over here first thing in the morning” he then went on, “then you have to get rid of all these damn Doves, I don’t want to listen to them flapping their wings and cooing when I’m trying to sleep” and another thing, “I want all the Republicans rounded up and sent down to Hell”
"Gee" God thought to himself "I can't send all the Republicans down to hell, I'm a Republican and so is Jesus".
God was flabbergasted, his left eye was twitching, this new guy was actually telling GOD how Heaven Should Be Run. God had to sit down; he then raised his arms and said to the new guy, “So Ye Wish, So Ye Shall Have”.
God put his Holy arm around the "New Guys" shoulders and said "come now, it is time to rest, you have had a long journey". The trumpets faded, the doves were gone, the Angels smiled. Heaven was silent.
Early the next morning God and the New Guy were having coffee in the Holy Garden, the new guy noticed a 1932 Ford Roadster parked under a Fig Tree, he said to God, “does that run” God replied “no, I haven’t been able to start it since 1948” the new guy walked over to the car and opened the hood, he then laid his hand on the engine, the car started. “Jesus Christ” God said, how did you do that, the new guy didn’t answer, he came back, sat down and sipped his coffee.
God had been praying for someone to help him run heaven, God then smiled to himself, his prayers had been answered.
God then realized that the new guy had not been officially announced into the Kingdom Of Heaven, God didn’t even know the new guys name.
God rose from his seat and asked, “New guy, what are you called on earth, what is your name” the new guy also stood and he faced God and said “I AM JOHN F (JACK) KELLEY” "I am a Teamster" he then added, “You can call me Kell if you want to God”, God replied, “So be it, Kell”
God thought to himself, “This guy is smarter than Jesus, no wonder they sounded the trumpets when he arrived”.
Every car in heaven now runs like a top, by God.
My old friend Kelley has gone home.
If you ever knew him, you will never forget him.
There will never be another Kelley.
Red Burtt.
posted by Red Burtt | 9:53 AM
4 Comments:
Thank you my friend! You know him Oh Too Well. I Love it!
GOOD JOB.
LEAFY
What a tribute! My name is Veronika and I stumbled upon your blog. I'll definitely be back for more stories-
Take care :)
Thanks Veronika.
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