Pass The Peas Please

Disclaimer:
The following is not intended to be Anti Democrat, Insensitive Or Racist, it is a true story that I have written in my own words. IT HAPPENED.

Well, you Liberal Democrats better grab your picture of Mike Dukakis then run and hide under your bed. I am going to, God forbid “Stereotype”, I know how you all hate that word, but I know you always try to "stereotype" yourselves as much as possible when your are speaking of an insensitive, cruel, patriotic Neo Con Republican, but, this is what happened, and I bet I’m right.

Thanksgiving dinner at Senior Amigo Jose Gonzales house up in Worcester Mass. “here comes the stereotype”, I am assuming these people were, “Oh Jesus forgive me” ILLEGAL ALIENS.
Phil Donahue, Cute Perky Katie, Hillary and “Rodent Face” Dan Rather all good kind caring Democrats call them “Undocumented Persons”, isn’t that nice, “tee hee, gush, fawn and splutter”

OK, it’s dinnertime with the Gonzales, mamma Gonzales gets everything on the table; the Tequila is flowing like buttermilk, Gracias, Si, oh boy.

Then it happens, one of Jose’s relatives named Jesus, who happened to arrive in the middle of the night and hasn’t eaten in three days reaches across the table and starts picking at “Tom Turkey’s” breast with his fingers. Ha’chee WaWa, mother of God. Jose screams at Jesus, calling him names and telling him to use a knife to cut Tom up.
Well Jesus uses the knife all right, Jesus grabs the carving knife and dives across the table at his Uncle Jose, the other guests scatter, the women run for the kitchen, all but Jose’s wife Carmine, she grabs a two foot carving fork and jumps in, the turkey is now on the floor, gravy is all over the walls, Salsa is in Jose’s hair, and Jesus is swinging his knife around like a wild man, Carmine gets behind him and rams the fork into his right kidney, Jesus slips in the pumpkin pie that is spread all over the floor and falls. Now Jose has him where he wants him, he kicks Jesus in the head while Carmine gives him another good jab in the neck with the fork, she pulls but the fork won’t come out, it is imbedded in Jesus’ neck. Jesus passes out.

The family argument is over in minutes, Jesus lays on the floor bleeding from his kidney with a carving fork sticking out of his neck, Jose has one ear cut off and is covered with blood and mashed potatoes, Carmine has a broken nose and her left breast is hanging out. The children and the other women are in the kitchen screaming, the family dog lay dead under Jesus who fell on him crushing his skull.
The Thanksgiving Dinner was now all over the ceiling, the walls and the floor.

The guests went home, the Gonzales all went to the hospital; they had no identification, no insurance, no green card, but they all had a FREE DRIVERS LICENSE that the United States Government had issued to them. They didn’t even have to take a test. (None of them know how to drive)

You think this is something, Christmas is right around the corner, thats when the real battles start.
"Hang on to your tree".

“Dear Lord” “Thank you for this food and the warmth of family and friends” “Thank you for Plymouth Rock”
Author: Red Burtt