Vaseline And Eggbeaters

While sitting in my chair this morning thinking about all the people in Bangladesh that have fly’s walking around on their faces I noticed a young White Male Yuppie being interviewed on Television. The thing that drew my attention to this sap was his “Hair”, his hair was styled in what I assume is the latest thing in “Hot Hair”, Jesus Christ.

This pretty boy dork looked as though he had rubbed a whole jar of Vaseline into his head and then used an electric “egg beater” to comb his hair. He looked like he had just come face to face with Barbra Streisand in a dark room, his damn hair was standing up like little blades of grass.

When I was young, I had a Pompadour, like the Fonz.

There was a women that lived in my old neighborhood (Greasy Village Cambridge Ma) that had hair all over her body, even in her mouth. She used to come into the Village Spa where we all hung around during the summer with a white "tank top" on and no Bra, she would eat doughnuts and drool at the same time, her husband would be with her, he was bald, they had no children. I don't know what ever became of them.

Hair is a pain in the ass.
Author: Red Burtt