Why Do They Thank The Weatherman
Your local TV weatherman, lets say his name is Rodney Windoff, he has a pretty young girl sitting beside him who delivers your local news each evening, her name is Thelma Korassky.
Make sure you watch these two the next time a big storm is headed your way.
Thelma starts first, she will tell you all about the SUV that attacked a group of Nuns on a street corner killing them instantly, then she will tell you about the Right Wing Red Neck Gun Nut that came home from a hunting trip and drowned three of his children then disemboweled his wife’s mother, then she will somehow try to connect all this mayhem to GW Bush or Ronald Reagan (even though he’s dead), she then ends this segment by telling us all how handsome John “Fonda” Kerry looked in his “home movie” with his gun, hunting down the enemy in the jungles of Viet Nam, she will look very sad when she is forced to mention that, Kerry Lost.
Now to the weatherman, Rod, (as Thelma calls him) there is a two day “killer blizzard” headed our way and Thelma goes from her “funeral parlor look of sadness” after telling us all about these Republican Neo Con murders and atrocities to a mood of sheer delight, she says, “now lets have a look at our local weather with Rodney Windoff” she then gushes, “hi Rod, looks like we will be needing our boots and shovels eh” “tee hee giggle giggle, fawn and swoon”, there is a snow storm coming that may kill ten or twenty people, put the power off for three days and bury the whole city and this little fool is slobbering, squealing and spluttering trying to make snow shovel jokes.
Rodney Windoff now starts twitching and babbling about how many people this storm killed out in Chicago, then the scene goes to “Rods Map”, all of a sudden, BANG, Rod jumps in front of the map with his little clicker, he scares the shit out of thousands of viewers, dogs run out of the living room for the safety of the kitchen.
Rod is all wound up now, he has been waiting all day for this, he is jumping up and down, flapping his arms all over New York State and Vermont, he is even drooling, (he may even have an erection) then he tells us all about the horrors we can expect in the middle of the night.
This lasts for about five minutes, Rod looks as though he has climaxed, he is breathing heavily, and then, Thelma takes over.
Thelma has a bigger grin on then Rod did, she screams, “OH THANKS ROD”, got that, she thanks him, what in the name of Christ is she thanking him for. Why do they "THANK" the weatherman, what the hell did he do for us???
Watch the news tonight, you all have these Thelma’s and Rod’s in your home town, they introduce the weatherman with “umbrella and raincoat jokes” then treat him as though he was “Jesus”, when he is done telling you that you and your family may die tonight in a blizzard, THEY THANK HIM.
Why do they thank the weatherman, does he make the sun come up??
GEE, GOSH, THANKS ROD.
Make sure you watch these two the next time a big storm is headed your way.
Thelma starts first, she will tell you all about the SUV that attacked a group of Nuns on a street corner killing them instantly, then she will tell you about the Right Wing Red Neck Gun Nut that came home from a hunting trip and drowned three of his children then disemboweled his wife’s mother, then she will somehow try to connect all this mayhem to GW Bush or Ronald Reagan (even though he’s dead), she then ends this segment by telling us all how handsome John “Fonda” Kerry looked in his “home movie” with his gun, hunting down the enemy in the jungles of Viet Nam, she will look very sad when she is forced to mention that, Kerry Lost.
Now to the weatherman, Rod, (as Thelma calls him) there is a two day “killer blizzard” headed our way and Thelma goes from her “funeral parlor look of sadness” after telling us all about these Republican Neo Con murders and atrocities to a mood of sheer delight, she says, “now lets have a look at our local weather with Rodney Windoff” she then gushes, “hi Rod, looks like we will be needing our boots and shovels eh” “tee hee giggle giggle, fawn and swoon”, there is a snow storm coming that may kill ten or twenty people, put the power off for three days and bury the whole city and this little fool is slobbering, squealing and spluttering trying to make snow shovel jokes.
Rodney Windoff now starts twitching and babbling about how many people this storm killed out in Chicago, then the scene goes to “Rods Map”, all of a sudden, BANG, Rod jumps in front of the map with his little clicker, he scares the shit out of thousands of viewers, dogs run out of the living room for the safety of the kitchen.
Rod is all wound up now, he has been waiting all day for this, he is jumping up and down, flapping his arms all over New York State and Vermont, he is even drooling, (he may even have an erection) then he tells us all about the horrors we can expect in the middle of the night.
This lasts for about five minutes, Rod looks as though he has climaxed, he is breathing heavily, and then, Thelma takes over.
Thelma has a bigger grin on then Rod did, she screams, “OH THANKS ROD”, got that, she thanks him, what in the name of Christ is she thanking him for. Why do they "THANK" the weatherman, what the hell did he do for us???
Watch the news tonight, you all have these Thelma’s and Rod’s in your home town, they introduce the weatherman with “umbrella and raincoat jokes” then treat him as though he was “Jesus”, when he is done telling you that you and your family may die tonight in a blizzard, THEY THANK HIM.
Why do they thank the weatherman, does he make the sun come up??
GEE, GOSH, THANKS ROD.
posted by Red Burtt | 4:57 PM
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