Teeth

Have you noticed that some of the people you know or some of the people you see on television have teeth missing, when they smile they have a big space in their mouth, have you ever said to yourself “why don’t they get some teeth” then you forget all about it because you’ve got teeth, you don’t care if they don’t have teeth, you’ve got yours, most of you wear dentures, many of you get suckered into getting teeth that are to big for your mouth, it seems as though Dentists want to sell “big teeth” they probably get a few extra bucks if they can talk you into getting “big teeth”, when they show them to you for the first time they smile and tell you how shiny and white they are, then they insert them into your mouth and tell you how wonderful you look, you smile at them with your new “big teeth” and say “thank you Mr Dentist”, you pay $200,000,000.87 for them at the front desk.

Now you rush out to your car, your smiling, you smile at everybody you pass on the way out, you smile at a Blind Man, then you get into your car and smile at your wife, she grunts, she mutters something under her breath, your happy, your still smiling, a women is about to walk by your car, you roll down the window and smile at her, she gives you the finger, then your wife looks at you and starts laughing, she yells out at you, “you idiot, you look like one of those damn drunken Kennedy’s” then she says, still laughing, “you look like a ground hog”.

I need some teeth:
I have decided against getting some teeth, if the bastard dentist won’t do what I tell him to do he can shove his teeth up his ass. I spoke to a dentist recently, the rat bastard wanted to charge me $2000 to “root canal” ONE TOOTH, I told him I am to old to have all that fancy crap done, I don’t care what my teeth look like when I’m dead, I don’t even care what they look like now and I’m still alive.

If I should get some new teeth this year while I am still alive I am informing my children that when they make the funeral arrangements I want them to instruct the Mortician to draw my lips back and freeze them there, when the mourners pay their last respects I will be lying there with a big grin on my face so they can all see my new teeth, I want them polished.

Author: Red Burtt